A little over a year ago, I started this blog with the intent of creating a positive space on the internet. It turns out that 2022 was a rough year for me health wise and I am only just now starting to feel like writing again. Truthfully, it’s a bit tough to write positively when you don’t feel well. I also struggled with the direction I wanted to take with my writing. Did I want to focus on short stories, or did I want to focus on things that were happening in my life? I tend to be an overthinker but eventually I thought maybe it was time to not worry about it at all? I laughed at myself just contemplating that. This is counter intuitive to every fiber of my being. What me, worry? Sorry, Alfred E. Neuman, I worry. But if ever there was a good resolution for the new year, it would be to worry less. I’m actually not that big on making New Year’s resolutions, as I’ve rarely managed to follow through on them for an entire year. And from what I can gather from social media, I’m not the only one! I am, however, big on fresh starts and that is what is most appealing to me about the beginning of a new year. What better time than to move on from the past year and its troubles and feel hopeful for a year with new and exciting possibilities?

I actually spent a fair amount of time in recent months working on letting go of things out of my control. It’s not an easy task and certainly requires daily practice. I think we can all agree that the past three years have been stressful to say the least. I actually told myself I would never make mention of the pandemic on my site. After all, I was trying to create a positive space. But since I’m trying not to overthink here, I’m just going with what’s on my mind and in my heart. There is simply no getting around how this has affected everyone in the world. For myself and those closest to me, the ripple effect continues, and we are all doing our best to navigate a world that is changing rapidly and not always for the better. There have been a lot of changes in my life, some of them related to the pandemic and some of them related to decisions I’ve made or just the natural course of life. Most of these changes were out of my control, however, and the adjustments have been difficult. When I contemplate all these things, I tend to wax nostalgic and feel convinced the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. But surely previous generations have all thought this at one time or another and the world kept on spinning, with better times and then worse times. An endless cycle. So, I have to be hopeful that better times will once again be on the horizon.

That sounds great, right? Reality check. That sunny horizon isn’t quite here yet. Some days when things seem particularly hard, I turn to the Serenity Prayer. It’s my way of remembering that I am not in control of most things, and I need to focus on the things that I can change. And here’s where it gets tricky for me. I am not the most patient person. Sometimes when I am reciting the Serenity Prayer to myself, I think of George Costanza’s father in the sitcom, Seinfeld, and his plea for “Serenity Now!” every time he gets angry in order to keep his blood pressure down. I giggle at the mere thought of it. I want my serenity and I want it now! Oh, you petulant child, I imagine God thinking, as I demand what I need instantly. Sometimes I’ve even asked for patience in the same manner. There’s an irony in asking for patience impatiently.

Yes, Veruca and I might have a little bit in common! Well, I’m a work in progress, what can I say? In any case, with fresh starts on my mind, I have revamped the look of my website and I plan to blog more often again. I would love to know what you think of the revised look of my website. So fancy with that new logo, right? And, just for fun, I’m creating a poll about New Year’s resolutions. Wishing you a happy new year and serenity NOW!